Adultery and the Cheating Spouse in Charleston, SC. What do you tell the children?
Adultery Private Investigator in Charleston, SC
If you’ve discovered your spouse has Cheated on you and committed Adultery, it’s likely that no one else in your circle of friends knows. No one knows for sure how often affairs happen, but statistics suggest they may affect 40 percent or more of all marriages. Despite its prevalence, there is a cultural hush concerning Adultery. Even when one spouse opens up to another, it’s quite probable that neighbors, parents, and siblings may not have caught wind of it. But within the privacy of your own home, the secret affects your children as well. Is your spouse’s affair a private matter, or should they know? Whose business is it?
One of the most frequent questions asked by couples who have been affected by their Cheating Spouse is whether they should tell their children. When I reflect the question back to the client, often they will tell me that they don’t think it’s a good idea, since the children may be emotionally harmed by finding out that one of their parents cheated on the other. Individuals (usually the partner who has been betrayed by his or her spouse) who argue in favor of revelation believe that the children have a right to know why tensions are high at home, or, in some cases, why mommy and daddy decided not to live together in the same home.
Is it right to involve the children?
So, should you tell your kids about an affair? Here are some guidelines for helping you make this important decision:
Probably not: If the couple agree that they wish to remain in an intact marriage and continue to live together, and the person involved in the affair is no longer in the picture, then there is probably no reason to involve the children. It’s none of their business, and may stir up negative emotions for everyone involved.
Possibly so: Even when parent stay together, if one of the people involved in the affair was a neighbor, teacher, or other person who the family no longer has contact with, the child may need a deeper understanding of why the “friendship” ended.
Possibly so: If the couple continue to work on the marriage, but many people in the community already know the affair has happened, and there is a good likelihood that the child will find out anyway, it may be better to hear it from their parents first.
Probably so: If a couple choose to stay together but are clearly in emotional turmoil related to the aftermath of the affair, then the children may need to understand why their parents are behaving as they are.
Probably so: If one partner wishes to separate from the other either because the unfaithful one wants to continue the affair, or the affected partner cannot bear to live with a cheating mate, then if the children are of an appropriate age, they deserve a clear explanation of what is going on.
Protecting the well being of your children is the most natural thing in the world. That’s one good reason not to have an Adulterous affair in the first place. But if the devastating effects of a Cheating Spouse have hit your family, then you should try to protect your children from the negative effects. However, if you can’t find a way to peacefully work though the aftermath of infidelity, then you may not be able to shield your children from the truth. That means that both parents must sit with the children, and get ready for a long talk. From that point on, the whole family has the challenge of rebuilding together.
Charleston Private Investigator
Tracker Investigations, LLC, covers Charleston, SC, including Daniel Island and Mount Pleasant. We handle all types of surveillance cases and specialize in Adultery-Cheating Spouse-Infidelity Investigations.